I had a vision a month ago.
I was going to write this really great post.
I had all sorts of quotes and articles lined up.
I had outlined this brilliant post in my head one day while driving somewhere one Sunday morning. There was no way of actually making notes at the time but I knew I was going to remember it because it was so good, how could I not?
Well, I didn’t remember it. Dishes, laundry, wooden floors hidden beneath a carpet of black hair left by a small dog. And then, the school holidays took over.
I’ve been staring at my list of quotes and links to clever articles over the last month and I simply can’t for the life of me remember what this brillant post was going to be. But amongst the quotes and articles, one stood out. It stood out because it reminded me that at the core of all of this is that simple desire to write. It was a refreshing change, it brought with it a cool breeze of calm and inspiration. It was written by co-conspirator and blogger in crime author Sarah Todman. I’ve paraphrased a bit here.
You see, I may never get there (having books in shops with my name on them) and if I do it might take another four years…perhaps more. It feels a bit like I’ve signed up for an apprenticeship with no end-date. Some people just never get their tradie’s license on this one. That’s the reality.
But it’s all ok. Perfect actually. Because this is what I want to do with my life.
Read the article here
What took me so long
By Sarah Todman
In the meantime two people have given me their completed manuscripts to read. One is from a member of my critique group. I am reading it aware of the questions and doubt the author is having. I think it is the same self doubt and concerns we all have, although in his case it is not warranted. But I do understand it and I think this quote from my muse The New York Review of Books sums things up beautifully.
Dante sat at his borrowed table, filled with the vision that he wished to put into words and painfully aware that like the forest of the beginning of his voyage, “to say what it was is hard” because human language, unlike a dog, is an unfaithful creature.
The other manuscript came from an email through the Brisbane chapter of Sister’s in Crime. I jumped at the chance. She would be reading mine. What a great opportunity.
Then I started reading it and realised mine was not nearly ready for this first read. A little investigation and I realised not only is the author of the manuscript a published author, she also does editing, manuscript assessments and a whole lot more. So, suddenly feeling a little silly.
But it gave me a good wake up call about the flaws in my story line, it was inspirational and motivating until that heavy sense of daunting, overwhelming dread took hold at the thought of the work that is still ahead.
I have now spent the last two weeks rewriting the last chapter of my story and filling in some gaps in the story line. It’s been a long slog, it’s still very clunky, but Undercurrents is now starting to read how I always thought it had.
I am also considering posting an excerpt here at some stage.